By way of constructive criticism for…
By way of constructive criticism for growth.
I found the experience with Mid very much a mixed bag. Happy that the forum exits as it allowed very frank exploration and yet at the same time it was impersonal. Eg. The emails always were signed off as
‘Kind regards
MiD Client Management Team’ no personalisation.
Then their terms and conditions referenced being in the EU, so, as you might imagine, on such an important life negotiation, this signalled a lack of attention to detail..
(year of writing 2024)
These sessions happened via zoom.
Working in the behavioural world as I do.. there were red flags aplenty for me, with the mediator, let’s call her H. She was very low energy and carried a hang-dog lugubrious quality and at times, made comments which had assumptions built in, which were not neutral. At times, when as the client, I became emotional and tetchy, she took her gaze from the camera/screen, looked towards the window and let out a non-audible sigh. This felt negatively impactful.
The ‘rules of engagement’ set out by terms and conditions, we had to sign, were very poorly policed by the mediator, to such a degree, that when a new rule was introduced into a session, namely ‘only future focussed conversations’ allowed: when comments were made about the past by my partner, nothing was said. This lack of clear boundary marking by the mediator made for some unnecessary energy being introduced into the room by the participants and took away from the potential quality of the exchanges. H’s lack of marking clear boundaries and not actively noting them and tending them through the sessions, underlined what appeared a lack of structure. H’s legal knowledge felt good, detailed and assured and her interpersonal skills left a great deal to be desired. She gave off many unguarded facial responses which were very much open to interpretation and in this charged environment were, for me, negatively impactful.
Mid were not able to facilitate an agreement with the sessions for which, of course, I am in part responsible.
As a concept I’m glad they exist, yet I couldn’t in all honesty recommend them.
Reading through the reviews, I wish Gillian had been the Mediator